Dealing With Sibling Rivalry — What Parents Can Do

Sibling rivalry is a normal part of family life. Children often argue, compete for attention, and feel jealous of each other. While it can be stressful for parents, these conflicts are also an opportunity to teach valuable life lessons. With patience, consistency, and empathy, you can guide your kids toward healthier relationships that build respect and connection. Here are some practical ways to manage sibling rivalry and create more peace at home: 1. Avoid Comparisons Never compare one child to the other. Saying things like “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” increases jealousy and lowers self-esteem. Each child is unique and deserves to be valued for who they are. 2. Notice Positive Moments Pay attention when your kids get along, share, or help each other. Point it out by saying, “I saw you worked together, that was wonderful.” Positive attention encourages cooperation and reduces fights. 3. Spend One-on-One Time Children often fight for attention. Spending a little special time with each child makes them feel seen and loved, lowering their need to compete. Even 10 minutes a day can make a difference. 4. Be Fair, Not Always Equal Fairness does not always mean giving the same. A younger child may need more help, while an older one may have more responsibilities. Explain why so they understand the difference. 5. Teach Conflict Resolution Encourage kids to use words instead of shouting or hitting. Teach them phrases like, “I feel upset when…” to express themselves. Model calm listening and speaking so they learn from you. 6. Step In Only When Needed Give children space to solve small disagreements on their own. If they manage conflicts themselves, they build problem-solving skills. Step in only if things get too heated or someone is hurt. 7. Create Routines Predictable routines reduce stress and arguments. Clear schedules for mornings, meals, and bedtime help children know what to expect, lowering opportunities for conflict. 8. Allow Space for Repair Teach your kids how to apologize and make things right. Encourage them to ask, “What can I do to help you feel better?” This builds empathy and shows them how to fix relationships. 9. Celebrate Uniqueness Recognize each child’s strengths, talents, and interests. Avoid labels like “the smart one” or “the quiet one.” When children feel valued for who they are, they are less likely to fight for recognition. Final Thoughts Sibling rivalry can never be erased completely, and that’s okay. Some conflict is natural and even helpful, as it teaches children patience, empathy, and how to manage relationships. The important part is how parents respond. By avoiding comparisons, encouraging fairness, supporting individuality, and modeling calm behavior, you help your children build a foundation of love and respect that will last into adulthood.